99-second Cheese Crisps

Ah, cheese. Whether you're an amateur admirer or a bona fide connoisseur, you may be aware of a delightful crunchy snack consisting of 100% cheese. These low-carb treats go by different brand names (such as Moon Cheese and Whisps), but the one thing they share is their price tag: these tiny bags typically sell for $3.50 to $5.00, or even higher. For less than 2 ounces of product, it can be an expensive indulgence.

Enter the homemade cheese crisp, made from humble sliced cheese. An 8 ounce package is usually around $2.00, so you can make 8 to 12 large crisps depending on the package count.

Let's begin!

INGREDIENTS

- Sliced cheese

Acceptable forms of cheese include, but are not limited to: Cheddar, Colby Jack, Pepper Jack, Provolone Jack

Unacceptable forms of cheese: Cottage, Cream, Nacho, String

INSTRUMENTS + EQUIPMENT

- Cutting Board

- Microwave

- Parchment Paper

- Picnic Basket (optional)

Cut, if you're feeling fancy, or tear, if you're not, one piece of parchment paper large enough to accommodate two slices of cheese, approximately 10" x 6". It's ok to be imprecise as long as two slices will fit with a one-inch border around the perimeter.

If the paper misbehaves by rolling up like an ancient sea scroll, just flip it to the reverse side. The cheese will also help weigh it down.

Remove two slices of cheese from the package of your choice.

Assemble cheese slices on the parchment paper, leaving at least an inch between the two slices; they will spread as they cook.

Tip: Remember to remove the pesky little cheese separator square, if applicable.

Carefully transport your loaded parchment to the microwave.

Set the timer for 99 seconds.

Spend the next minute and a half contemplating a world without cheese...

Tip: For extra flavor, now is the time to add a sprinkle of spices, if you please. Garlic powder and smoked paprika work well, but let your imagination guide you.

Remove the parchment paper from the microwave as soon as it beeps. It helps to shimmy the parchment onto a plate or cutting board, pizza peel-style.

The cheese will be very hot and/or sizzling, so allow it to cool for at least a minute before eating.

Cheese will harden as it cools.

If all went well, your cheese slices should have progressed from limp to molten to crispy.

These crisps can be crumbled onto a salad, dipped into soups or eaten as giant crackers. I've gone so far as to use them as the "bread" in a sausage and egg sandwich, but that's an Instructable for another time...

- Do not, under any circumstances, substitute wax paper for the parchment. Trust me on this.

- Do not use Velveeta or anything labeled "cheese food product". Keep it au naturale.

- While it's possible to reuse the cut parchment for a second batch, it won't produce the best results. Since the excess cheese oil may interfere with the paper's absorbability, I highly recommend using a fresh piece of parchment every time.

- As microwave settings may vary, you may very well need to adjust the time to get the perfect crunch. Goldilocks Rules apply: if the crisps turn out too chewy, add more time; if they are too hard, decrease time. With a little experimentation they will turn out just right!

- I assume the cheese crisps can be stored and kept at room temperature for a day or two, but let's be honest: there won't likely be any leftovers!