Nick Bottom's Honored and Most Knowledgeable Guide to Sword Making

On Tuesday last I chanced upon a strange machine, hte purpose of which befuddled me completely. The peculiar contraption weigghed not so much more than a ound's worth of feathers and was shaped and sized quite like a notebook, adorned most beautifully with a picture of an apple. A clasp[ sat squarely on the edge, simply begging such a brave and humble man as I to pull it to the side. Upon doing so tyhe henceforth named Apple-Notebook-Machine popped open in the manner of a clam, henceforth becoming the Clam-Apple-Notebook-Machine. As if powered by some strange and otherworldy alchemy, the top half of the Clam-Apple-Notebook-Machine glowed with light, displaying once again the picture of an apple and then shifting to another image, the wonders of which I can only begin to describe. Upon the botttom half of the Clam-Apple-Notebook-Machine was an astonishing array of buttonms labeled with each c haracter of the alphabet. A fellow so smart and gallant as I should see immediatly that only fate bestoweth such magic on a man, and such magic must be used wisely., A ghood while it took me to fathom the reasoning behind this gift of fate, during which I nearly fell under the spell of a dark and evil entity known as "Angry Birds", and could not cease to fling the colored birds across the alchemic image for a long while. I noww, however, understand the true purpose of this gift: to bestow upon thee Clam-Apple-Notebook-Machine men of text and flame-war my expert teachings on the most honorable subject of sword making. Thus I, Bottom the Weaver, doth present Nick Bottom's Honored and Most Knowledgeable Guide to Sword Making.

Ingrediants

tThree integral elements are needed to craft a sword. To your intense gratitude and delight, I have listed them as thus:

1. Craft-Foam
2. Tape with which to mask
3. Tape for ducks (preferably of a shiny variety)
4. Black-colored tape

A note: Tape for ducks (marvelous creatures), although I'm certain it's intended use is to tape ducks together, works marvelously for our own purposes, never fear.

~@Step Number One@~

SlicE out twos strips of Craft-Foam. Bind them together with the first kind of tape substance (Tape with which to mask).

~@Step Number Two@ ~

Expertly carve two more shortishly smaller strips of Craft-Foam. Adhere all of the foamy sstrips together to form a cross.

12345677890
asdfhakl;hdfklha
jjjn nv cv dch hj u[][]l]]..ll
qwertyuiiopasdfghjklzxcvbnmmmmmmmmm

Oh, with TTape with which to mask. Adhere the foamy strips with Tape with which to mask. Ay me, the bottom half of the Clam-Apple-Notebook-Machine indeed is quite a distracting contraptionn. I do wonder if there be a way to erase the letters once they hath been entered?

~@Step Number Three@~

Adorn the handle part of the swpord with Black-colored tape.

~@Step Nmumber Four@~

Upon tthe blade lay down the Tape for use on ducks.

The End of Steps. Rejoice in Thy Success

If thou hast done as I hath told thee,e in thy han ds should sit a shimmering picture of perfection, a marvelous and most wonderful sword. I do regretfgully admit that it is is not frightfully sharp, though the dull nature of the weapon does make it handy for use in a play, so as not to opainfully stab the players to death. I, in fact, will use such a blade in the upcoming production of The most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby, which I and my dear fellow actors will perform before the duke on his wedding day. I will play the most best part in the play: Pyramus, a lover that kills himself most gallant for love.

Thus nds my masterful teachings. If htou hath found this most expert step-by-step-tutorial tutorial on the subject of swordmaking to be satisfactory, I would applaud thee most gratefully if thou were to comment or favorite my teachings. I thank thee for thy attention. Adieu.

- Nick Botttom the Weaver

P.S..: If thou dost not mind my questioning, what is Sadi789?

Nick Bottom's Honored and Most Knowledgeable Guide to Sword Making