How to Eat a Banana Like a Dog

Dogs, like humans and monkeys, are omnivores. Even better: dogs have lots of experience eating things. Different things. Here we take a tip from our canine culinary experts: How To Eat A Banana Like A Dog.
(by Little "The Nose" Bear, with help from diN0bot)

Sit.
Stay.
.
.
.
.
Come!

Snifsnuff until you find a banana!

Find somewhere with softness for your elbows and a good view of the door.

Even though food should be gulped down as quickly as possible, it doesn't mean one loses all abandon. Start at one end and gnaw away at the peel. yum.

********************* spoiler *********************

systematically eat the good stuff until you reach the other end. Try not to leave too much behind, especially if others are watching and salivating for leftovers. Sharing is for compost.

********************* end spoiler *********************

Now that the peel is open you can stop eating it and dig into the mushy good stuff. Breath through your nose and don't take your eyes or mouth off the prize.

You can never protect your bounty too much. If growling doesn't keep the vultures away, pack up and find somewhere similarly comfortable but secluded to continue eating. This is a good time to start swallowing faster and chewing less.

don't forget to veg out when you're done.

** next week join us for our special on pooping like a dog!!!1 **