How to Use Lolspeak

An instructables on how to read, write, and think in Lolspeak, the language of the internet.

Step One: Extract the Punctuation

First of all, think of a sentance, any sentance. Let's use "Hi, that's a fat cat you have there! Seriously, that is one really obese kitty." as an example. So, our first step is to remove the punctuation and capitals:

"Hi, that's a fat cat you have there! Seriously, that is one really obese kitty."
"hi thats a fat cat you have there seriously that is one really obese kitty"

Do this with your own sentance.

Step 2: Mutilate the Words

Now let's take that sentance, and screw up the wording. Do this by changing spelling to what it sounds like, rather than what it is. Mess up the grammar as well:

"hai thats a phat cat you has there srsly thats 1 rly obees kitteh"

Step Three: Add in Some Unusual Punctuation of Your Own, and Shove in Some New Vocab

Now it's tine to add your own punctuation. Make errors like 1 instead of !:

"hai!!!1! thats a phat cat you has there.. srsly thats 1 rly obees kitteh"

Add in words like "lol", "wtf", "wth", etc, etc.

"hai!!!1! lol wth thats a phat cat you has there.. srsly thats 1 rly obees kitteh"

Step Four: Simplify, Simplify

To finish off, simplify:

"hai!!!1! lol wth thats a phat cat you has there.. srsly thats 1 rly obees kitteh"
"lol!!!1! you has obees kitteh srsly.."

If you're making a lolcat, you might want to inverse the subject, like so:

"lol!!!1! you has obees human srsly.."
"lol!!!1! you has obees hooman srsly.."

That's it! You're done!