Porky’s Pie Golden Surprise

A proper pie fit for a Sunday roast or a cheeky picnic. Get your bunting ready, because this beauty is coming to town! This pie isn’t just food—it’s an experience. It’s hearty, it’s indulgent, and it’s got a heart full of eggs! So grab your fork, dig in, and remember: life’s too short for soggy bottoms. Cheers! 🍻

For the Filling

300g good-quality sausages (Lincolnshire or Cumberland will do nicely, guv’nor - or whatever you have in the fridge!), skins removed

300g pork mince – none of that rubbish, mind you!

150g cooked ham

2 shallots or 1 onion

3 tbsp of fresh parsley

4 hard-boiled eggs , shelled (boil ‘em, cool ‘em, peel ‘em – easy peasy!)

Salt and white pepper , to taste

For the Hot Water Crust Pastry

450g plain flour , plus extra for dusting

100g strong white flour – for that extra oomph!

75g unsalted butter

½ tsp salt

100g lard , plus extra for greasing (yes, lard – don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!)

1 egg yolk

Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F. Grease a 1kg loaf tin (about 10x20cm at the base) with a smidge of lard, then line it with a strip of baking parchment, leaving an overhang at each end. This’ll help you pop the pie out later – no faffing about! In the meantime also boil your eggs!

Little Note: Place the eggs in the water only after the water boils. Let them cook for 7 minutes.

Chuck all the filling ingredients (except the hard-boiled eggs) into a bowl. Get your hands dirty and squish it all together like you’re kneading dough but with more enthusiasm. Fry a tiny bit of the mixture in a pan and taste it. Adjust seasoning as needed. Remember, British food thrives on subtlety… or not. Your call.

Pop the filling in the fridge while you tackle the pastry. Why? Because chilling things makes you feel organised, even if you’re secretly winging it.

Combine both flours in a bowl, toss in the butter (it needs to be chilled), and rub it in lightly with your fingertips. Imagine you’re soothing a grumpy cat—it’s delicate work.

Meanwhile, heat the water, salt, and lard in a saucepan until it boils. Pour this hot mess onto the flour and stir until it comes together. Once cool enough to handle, tip it onto a floured surface and knead until smooth. Voilà! You’ve made pastry. Take a bow.

Roll out two-thirds of the pastry and use it to line the loaf tin, leaving some excess hanging over the sides. Press half the meat mixture into the tin, then place the boiled eggs lengthwise down the middle like soldiers standing to attention. Add the rest of the filling and pat it down firmly. No gaps allowed—it’s like Tetris but tastier.

Very important if you want to still have a full intact pie after cooking ---> Brush the overhanging pastry edge with egg yolk. Roll out the remaining pastry for the lid, drape it over the top, and pinch the edges together to seal. Trim neatly, poke three steam holes in the top (because science), and brush generously with egg yolk.

Bake for 30 minutes then turn the heat down to 180C/350F and bake for another hour. Resist the urge to peek inside—it’s shy. Let it cool completely in the tin before removing it. Use the parchment paper to slide it out, like extracting treasure from a chest.

Little tip: if you start seeing that the top of the pie in getting burned cover the pie with aluminium (or aluminum - depending which side you are on) foil and place it back in the oven.

Cut thick slices, because thin ones are for amateurs. Pair it with pickles, mustard, or maybe a pint of ale if you’re feeling particularly patriotic.