Urban Altoids Survival Kit

by cat6_racer in Outside > Survival

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Urban Altoids Survival Kit

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To date, I've seen lots of Altoids-tin survival kits, some of them composed by a few of nature's most imaginative weirdos.  Sadly, I've discovered that an overlooked feature of such kits is day-to-day usability.  Yes, we're all waiting for the zombie apocalypse to occur so we can break out our little fishing hooks and tinfoil and what have you, but until then we may as well use such kits to our advantage, right?

This article seeks to expose for you a kit I've designed (and continue to work on) that compromises some worst-case scenario type needs with needs I actually have RIGHT NOW.  I still don't use it very often, but when I do, I'm very glad to have it.

Exterior

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WOW.  Look--a small box of mints!  Note the "ranger rubber bands" used to keep this monstrous little suitcase full of useful crap closed, but which can also serve other binding needs when necessary.

What's on Top

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Opening the kit we see the box's carefully smushed contents.

Some Stuff...

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Contents revealed:

* "Write in the Rain" waterproof paper, available at many outdoor stores (such as Mountain Equipment Co-op here in Canada). Not very expensive for such cool, exotic gear

* $5 Cash, various obvious uses: purchase a meal, take a (very short) cab ride, etc etc....

Some More Stuff...

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More stuff.

* Compass keychain from Suunto, a nice little multi-purpose device that keeps me warm at night because I'll always know which way is north...for all the good that'll do.

* Pills to make the voices in my head go away for a while

* Quarters to make phone calls (or spare change), and two bus/subway tokens to get home, or somewhere and then back

* Tiny box of matches, because gasoline doesn't set itself on fire and how else are you going to get enough insurance money to start a new life, huh? Huh??

* Krazy clue: for binding wounds, attaching things together to form a wikid awesome jerry-rigged survival gadget in the field or....just exploding inside the box and sticking all my survival stuff to the inside of an altoids box. Yay!

Even More Stuff...?

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Ermmm..ok, I'm getting tired of writing so much by this point.  What else've I got in this thing?

* Blinking LED light
* Teeny-Tiny 1cm utility knife thing, for hijacking airplanes or just making airport security act even NICER to me...
* Post-it notes, because there's never a "sticky" handy when you need one.
* A pencil, to avoid embarrassment at having brought post-it notes to the nuclear wasteland but nothing to write with.  Can't you just imagine that happening?
* Cable ties.  I foresee the mad-max post-apocalyptic world as having far more cable-tying-up needs than most people anticipate.  So now when it comes...I'll be ready.
* Really, does the antiseptic towelette need explanation?  Does half the stuff in this kit?

Ok, Enough Stuff Already!

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Things I also carry but which aren't pictured:

* A actual, semi-functional human brain.  Don't try fitting this in an Altoids tin--even if you take a lot of other stuff out and squish it down really hard, it won't fit.  Just keep it someplace else and use it often.
* An unnecessarily cool "tactical" flashlight, in a cheap-ass Chinese holster that'll probably fall apart and make me lose the flashlight a before I REALLY need such a device
* A folding knife with one of those flint-striking-makes-sparks-go-zing tools attached.  And a cheesy little whistle for some reason. 
* Awesome looking Gerber multi-tool thingie.

Improvements I'll have to make:

* Carefully folded tin foil: the only known way to stop the CIA sending encrypted transmissions to your brain through the fillings in your teeth.  "The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of June 6th is as follows...Monday--shepard's pie..."  Make it stop!!
* Other stuff which has now escaped my mind.

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